Tests

Today Isabelle's OT came over and had to do yet another test.  I hate these tests.  Who is this Peabody guy and what makes him think I want my daughter to take his tests over and over again.  I know that Isabelle has to do these tests frequently to show the insurance that she is still behind and still needs therapy on the weekly basis.  But I hate hearing over and over what "age" she is actually testing at.  Being told, again, that she has the skills of a 9 month old.  She's 19 months old and the last 3 times we did the Peabody test, she's tested at 9 months old.  Then I keep hearing in my mind the Developmental Pediatrician telling me that the best indicator of mental ability is looking at what skills she is capable of - if she's doing skills that a child 1/2 her age should be doing, than her mental capacity will probably be 1/2 of what is normal.  Then I start worrying about her future - what will it be like? What will she be capable of?  How will she be treated by those around her?  Will she have friends?  Will kids be cruel to her?  When we die, who will take care of her?  And so on and so on.  A huge list of questions that have no answers and are so far in the future that worrying about them won't do any good.  And as I sit here worrying, I miss enjoying this beautiful girl in front of me who brings so much joy into our home.  So now you understand why I hate this stupid Peabody test.  I need to just let it go, marvel at the little girl who has changed our life and keep praying that her life will be surrounded by people who see how amazing she really is, not people like this Peabody character.