WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
Emily Perl Kingsley.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am so grateful I got sent to Holland.
4 comments:
Heidi,
I heard her talk at a fireside. I have often thought about it as I have watched you and Isaac on this new journey with Isabelle. I am grateful to share this journey with you. This experience will a blessing to not only your and Isaac's family but to our family as a whole. We love you and we love Izzy.
Ummm . . . I didn't know Kelly was logged in. That last comment was me.
Heidi,
OK this is really strange. First off, hi! Glad you came to my blog and that we can now be blogging buddies of beautiful special needs girls. So who was your old mission companion?
Also, today I came across another blog that linked to me. At first I thought it was you because they have a little girl named Isabella who they think has Kabuki. Then I realized it's a different family...anyway, I thought that perhaps I should connect you two. So here is here blog: http://martyfamilyupdate.blogspot.com/
Maybe it will help. I hope. :) Your family is beautiful and you're a great mom.
Hey! Oh Anne Marie...she's great. I'm glad she connected us. I hope this other new connection will be helpful to you as well. I still can't get over the randomness of an Isabelle/Isabella both with Kabuki syndrome. I've only talked with a handful of parents of kids with limb differences, but it's been really helpful to have those connections. Good Luck!
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